Wish I could throw darts on his face.
Teacher's Day's celebration wasn't too bad.
I enjoyed the excercising part the most though.
Azimah was literally club dancing and shaking every thing of hers and we girls formed a circle and wobbled of booties to the music. Big circle.
Spending the day with the girls tomorrow at Sentosa.
Looking forward to try the new bikini I bought from Club Marc just two days ago at a crazy price of $3. Hope this cheap stuff hasnt any orgasm on it.
I bought a new book. It's called "Pin Down".
It's about this girl being abused and sent to different homes in the state,being bullied,drugged,raped and anything else you could think of. Her dad's a hardcore drinker while her mom left her alone and tried to lead her in to a suicide.
I bought it for $42 from Borders.
Great Book.
I'll be linking those people whom reads this space and links me on their blog.
Old friends and such,but if you wanna be linked please leave a tag..c'mon dont
be shy. I'm not a monster though the first three letters of my name matches with
it.
"Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it's alright
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means "
No more Erwin.
No more laughter.
No more fighting on the bed.
No more chinese tom-yum.
No more annoying phone calls.
No more kisses on the forehead.
No more kissing-off-the-tears.
No more pats on the head.
No more sniffs on my skin.
No more tapping of your fingers on my hands.
No more kung-fu battles.
No more so-many-more.
Labels: in my own walls of repellation.
I am feeling very funny right now.
Some sort of like a thinker,a victim,a guilty charged person,a bitch,a small girl,a confused whore,a heartache master,a rabbit,a snake,a barbie doll.
But whatever it is,I know my heart feels like it's tearing and I'm feeling really sorry for it.
Labels: All you got to do is just to walk away.
I need someone to show me some love.
Just make me feel that you care please.
Dont hide your feelings.
I really dont mind.
I feel useless now.
I feel exhausted now.
I'm tired of welling up mu eyes now and then,forcing stupid tears to hide back in again.
Fuck you.
Labels: Love is all I need.
I dont mind.
It doesnt matter anymore.
As far as I know,something's dont change.
Or rather,doesnt want to change.
I'll give this shot a chance.
Let's see how far could it take us.
Labels: If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
It's repeating again.
Despite the pressure and pain.
How many times do you need to go through failure.
Before you finally get to feel that you're worthwhile.
I will remember not to give up just yet.
Thought I'm not even halfway there.
I'm not just gonna stop here and stare,
at all these procedures taking place in a single nightmare.
I need a gig please,someone please give me a fucking gig.
Labels: the universe is a process.
It expresses better when we write in simple words.
It saves time thinking about profound words to use.
It saves people from not understanding what we mean.
I failed my English,and that is today.
Actually,I had great news to blog about yesterday but I didnt get to use the Internet. So I'm still thinking whether or not to break it out to you (dear friend) 'cause I have more even more unpleasant news to share. I guess I'll skip the consolation and carry on with the ruinous.
I miss my dad. It's his birthday today. And I was really glad he called yesterday to ask if I would want to celebrate it with him before midnight. I did not know why was he so eager to celebrate with us. But whatever it was,I felt really glad he decided to. I didnt mind. I swear.
At this point of time,you might find it a dread to read all these shit but it doesnt matter much to me because i'm feeling relieved writing in this manner and I think you should try it too.
So anyway,mom said that it was too late and didnt think it was a great idea so she called dad and explain to him. I heard her raising her voice. I felt bad.
But it was worse after I heard "until you learn how to prioritise your kids. " and "anyway you had plans already right?" refers to him travelling to malaysia tomorrow for "work". I gave a second thought and was disappointed because I figured out that he might be going over to celebrate his birthday there on the actual day and left these few hours for his family. Minutes later,I grew even madder thinking that he might be going over with "her".
I cried really hard,not harder than the day he left us though.
I wished him a "Happy Birthday" at 12am sharp anyway.
I was disappointed at myself not for failing English.
But for having high hopes again in the begining.
This happens all the time and it's annoying how we need to accept it isn't it.
And lastly,I dont find anything interesting to laugh at anymore.
I found it quite hard to laugh.I'd rather think about things and observe people more.
You might be thinking as if there's so much to think about and to observe to and that i'm just talking crap. Then again it doesnt matter to me cause I feel more comfortable writing like this. You should try it too.
P.S. Azimah,if you think this writing style is really similar to something you had read somewhere,you're right. Thanks for the hug too.
I'm done and I feel much better now.
Thank you.
Labels: you end up with a lot you don't.
"I hate this feeling. Like I'm here, but I'm not. Like someone cares.
But they don't. Like I belong somewhere else, anywhere but here, and escape lies
just past that snowy window, cool and crisp as the February air. I considered
the streets beyond, bleak as the bleached bones of wilderness scaffolding my
heart. Just a stone's throw away."
Reminder:
Ily :)
Labels: do you ?
I just got a confession from some ramdon malaysian guy I knew on myspace.
These are the things i remembered from the convo.
"You're amazing. I dream of you every night. I respect you. I can move to Singapore this December and stay at Sentosa so I could see you. I like you. But i want you to be my best friend."
I'm speechless. I tried very hard not to laugh.
I'm so bored right now.
It's the first day of fasting month so everyone's staying home today.
No Gigs. No Town. No Hanging Around.
Sad Face.
I've been buying many books and magazines lately.
It's a good thing.
I dont have to stone in trains or buses looking at others picking their noses.
Disgusted Face.
BayBeats is a week away.
Still making my choice whether to go or not.
Haven't heard of any band before except For Better Endings.
So I'll be going for the last day if I decide to go.
Must stop thinking so much now.
Making my head swirl.
Confused Face.
Labels: not out of the blue.
You think about the prettiest eyes you've known,and you start crying really hard.
I like it when people encourage me to move on.
But these people dont come by often.
They might be shy.
They might not have the guts to deliver these words.
Observe.Feel.Understand.Make A Move
Observe the people around you
Feel their inner emotions and thoughts. You could just as well make a wild guess,you dont need to be a mind reader to achieve this.
Understand their situations and reasons they're being upset for.
Make a move- write a note,ask random questions,tell them a lame joke,give them a pat on their shoulders to make them feel that you care.
It's that horrifyingly simple.
But most of us dont notice this.
Labels: that makes you remember things.
Still,love for you couldn't be described in words.
You're taking everything that I give.
Good Bad Happiness Sadness Pain Grief Joy Insanity Pleasure Sweetness Practically Everything.
Just like a sponge.
Absorbing so well.
So perfect.
The sparks and light still brighten my heart as much as before.
Whenever I see you smile.
Thank you very very much. (L)
My tests are over.
How about yours.
I feel insecure about it.
What about you?
I expect the mediocre disappointment over again.
I didn't mug hard enough.
But I wont stop trying.
And you shouldn't too.
I want to path my life well.
Nourish it as much as I can.
And not regret it with the same ol' feelings I've been coming across for years anymore.
Though I'm quite immune to it,it doesnt mean I want it to stay this way and do nothing about it.
And you shouldnt too.
I bought a new book.
The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.
I think you should read it too.
It helps you understand people's thoughts better,fuller and understand the whole meaning of their thoughts.
Even the person themselves might not have any idea how to pen them down.
I love 'thank you'(s).
I've been receiving quite a couple of these everyday.
I hate my advices being taken for granted and see someone I love going astray.
I blame myself instead,why hadnt you do a better job as a god damn friend.
I guess I'm only capable of certain things.
Not as great as I thought I would be.
Labels: are you feeling fine today? (smile)
This little girl adored that passion that lifted her.
Dancing on her ten toes,swifting towards different angles.
Straining every thigh muscles,twisting those hips,indulging into the rhythms of latino.
4 inches heels doesn't matter.
Bare skins dont bother.
Now tell me what am I working towards.
When my dream's all shattered.
Labels: he got the silent treatment from the person he confided in.
Do you feel useless whenever you fail.
Ever thought of giving up cause you're tired of trying.
Never thought you'll make a success out of anything.
Always having efforts drained to nothing.
And after all you had it at the beginning.
The confidence and strength for a change of your being.
Never earn a chance of winning.
You wont figure out the purpose of living.
Only hoping for an empty space to breathe.
Labels: could I wake up as a different person?
Managed to catch Straight Forward at Step Aside/Comrade's EP launch yesterday bus missed the two main stars of the night as I had to rush to Cineleisure for Honey's perfornamce. Got their EP as well so if you want the tracks do ask from me. Thank you Azimah.
STRAIGHT FORWARD
Common tests are nearing. All the best to everyone of you sitting for exams soon. Dont stress yourself out,turn on some soothing tunes along with a mug of your favourite liquid and make them your companions during this period of time. Learn well,play well,balance well. It'll turn out well .
Smile.
Labels: but it's even harder to remember sweetness.
I'd never agree on this quote.
It isn't any close to realistic nor agreeable.
1. Think about it,what do you want the opposite party
to feel when you say this to them? It's not a comparison between a human and an
animal isn't it? So why use it on humans? And most probably you'll want them to
realise that they haven't changed at all. If so,just get to the point and tell
them that they haven't changed. Quotes doesn't work all the time.
2.How could a
leopard possibly change their spots? They cant possibly wash them off,or scraple
them away because it's one of their characteristics,it's in their damn
genes.
Dont you feel stupid saying this to
people knowing that leopards cant do anything about their spots? Lastly,
Leopard's spots= Appearance. Human's Attitude= Inner Beauty.
So what's the debate about?
Currently: Eating Yami Yougurt.
Listening To: Armed With A Mind - Have Heart
Appearance isn't important.
The more it doesnt have to bring you down.
How long can beauty last you?
Who would really appreciate it?
Your partner,your friends ?
Once it's taken away,they wont stand by you anymore?
Have you ever thought about the make up you wear,I wear,we all wear,
means nothing much but just temporary way to make you look better.
When we're back home,we stare right at the mirror,removing your fake eye-lashesMascaraEye-LinerFoundationBlushersEye Shadows.
And what do you feel when you look at your naked self?
You know it dont you?
I feel it too.
But I'm not demoralised.
I dont cry and attempt suicide cause people insult the way I look.
I feel better instead.
Feel much better because these people dont know the way I work with my mind and beautiful heart.
They dont bring you down,they're there for you to overcome.
You'll find the one who really appreciates you,not for your deceiving outer beauty,but for your Wonderful selfNatural Inner Beauty.
Labels: is skin deep.
What am I doing right now: Munching On J-Co's Dounuts.
What I just did:Destroyed their package box beause I cant figure out the way to open it.
Than anything else.
But these people just dont get it,their propelling greed takes over them,creating the monsters in their self.
They dont realise pain - 'cause they're not the ones suffering.
They dont treasure money - 'cause they'll spend billions ever-creating new nuclear toys everyday hoping to conquer the world.
They dont see love - 'cause they left their families to discriminate they're own kind.
They dont have a heart - only to follow orders given by their leader,following his god damn heart.
Most of all,peace doesn't exist in them - unless killing/torturing/slaughtering/discriminating means peace to you.
Created a new poll under 'Tagboard'.
Smile.
Labels: for a reach of a man.
But might be burning up inside.
But might be shattered within.
Maybe you present yourslf well.
But feel indifferent from others.
Does it really matter if you dont have anyone to confide in?
Why not take a chance,to listen to your thoughts and confide in your beautiful self.
Sometimes words cant be spoken because it's kinda hard to describe what you're feeling within isn't it?
Smile.
Labels: who understands your unfelt feelings.
Labels: this will very much do.
You think of long withered wild grasses that gives a golden glow.
You yearn for the buzzling lights of new york city you got a glance through the TV.
You love to daze your soul to soft tunes,allowing inner thoughts to overwhelm your mind.
You want these tinggling feelings,a moment of relief,strength and inspiration to retain within you.
What you dont come to realise is that these moments dont last long.
Cherish them as they come by,to enlighten you just for that short moment and make damn sure you learn something from them.
Smile.
Labels: you keep on going.
Labels: it's all about ourselves.
If you realised,my nostrils are triangular.
Smile.
There's no explanation. No reasons . No manner.
To possibly describe our thoughts and actions.
Your mind is the key to lead you.
If you have a weak mind,you'll tend to fail,to sway away and to remain unfocused.
Just like how I am right now.
Adjust your living style.
You dont need loads of cash,lots of encouragement from others or any help from anyone.
It's your life and it's your path.
You may not get the 100 percent from others as well.
Always back yourself up and always stand up for yourself.
It's better to be late than never.
Show yourself that you're worth it.
Starting from now.
(Remember all the beautiful things you could possibly get.[Insert Desires/Craves]
If you cant remember it cause you own a weak mind,own a jotter book.
It might be as useful as you cant imagine.)
Labels: or a rational man?
Went for a haircut yesterday and chopped off the dry and wavy back.
It looks much neater now. All smiles.
Have it ever occurred to you,that you have many things in mind that you wanna do very much at that split second but loses the motivation the very next?
Or maybe you may be sitting in buses,trains or other modes of transports(mostly buses i have no idea why),and begin to think alot about different aspects of things,embracing the feeling each moment's giving you?
But somehow those thoughts breaks away when you're back in the crowded environment where it's noisy,buzzling with people and when you're a part of the mediocre.
It sucks so much doesnt it.
Being alone is not a bad thing,it doesnt mean that you dont have friends,nor companions.
You may have many partners,the best friend of yours is always-yourself.
Labels: and it's ending one minute at a time.
I realise that people are starting to rip my post,well not exactly ripping.
But the videos and the post itself are very very similar.
It is not wrong,not a crime or anything else.
And most definately not labelled as a "copy-cat" under my views.
But I'd appreciate if you'd be just as kind to name the source you got the post from.
Thanks.
Labels: are always most appreciated.
Gig At Odiocrib
Pai's BBQ Celebration
What the hell
(What the hell)x2